I am finding myself reaching out in hopes that there are others out there that may have some words of advice for me. I feel very guilty writing this as I am not the victim of the Sudden Cardiac event rather I am the one that applied the CPR and that kept my husband alive. My story started in May of 2016 at 12:30 am. I woke to what I thought was my husband snoring and tried to wake him to roll on his side. I in a short time frame realized that something was wrong. I could not wake him and he had stopped breathing. I to this day do not know how I jumped into action but I did without hesitation. I am sure it was the higher up that was with me leading me through what needed to be done. The 911 dispatcher walked me through getting him on the floor and starting the CPR. Long story short, he did survive the event with having 6 additional events over a 6 week time frame in the ICU. I am happy to say he is alive and his mind is doing great. He is recovering slowly from the loss of muscle mass while in the the ICU. He does not recall any of that evening at all and does not understand the full impact that it had on me. We have been married for 40 years.
I can not get the sight of seeing him laying there that evening out of my mind. I find myself panicking everytime he sleeps on his back and goes into a deep sleep. I have many nightmares, have tried meds to assist and have talked to therapists (they do not understand). I want to get past this and back to a new normal life without worry all the time. Is this even possible? Hoping for words of encouragement.