CONSCIOUS EXPERIENCE DURING Cardiac Arrest (LQTS-3)

I have Type 3 LONG-QT Syndrome
Cardiac Arrest on January 17, 2012, January 21, 2016, January 20, 2018.
I had my third experience of cardiac arrest this year.
Of course I remember each Near-Death-Experience, but that is not what I am seeking here.
What keeps me seeking answers is during those three "precious and agonizing" minutes of consciousness
knowing that I am dying. When you know that you are dying, that this last moment of making
sense of what is happening and saying to myself that "I am Ready" each time is the good part. I never lose consciousness
until my three minutes are up. Yet It is the suffocating that is worse than the cardiac death. I beg God to hurry up and let me go unconscious to stop the agony. Then I black out and spontaneously wake in the ambulance consciously aware of the events later.
I have changed so much in my life, behavior and awareness. I now refuse all material related assumptions of happiness.
I stopped friendships based on negative things such as gossip. I refused pacemaker-defib, cardiac drugs and all medical interventions.
I live each day truly as though it were my last, and give thanks each day I wake. I prefer to live this way as It is my right remain control over my body. I am interested in what others experienced in those three last minutes. Thanks for listening.