Posted by 1LuckyChick on 05/27/2020

I wrote my survivor story, so I won't repeat that here, but I survived SCA on Friday, 2/28/2020 in a restaurant that could not find their AED unit, but DID happen to have a retired firefighter at the table next to us. I will forever be grateful to this kind man who saved my life, keeping me going until the paramedics arrived.

My story is really weird, when I compare to others. I had absolutely no symptoms, no blockages, good bloodwork, good blood sugar levels, etc. The only single strike against me is my weight. I'm about 80 lbs. overweight, but workout regularly, eat clean, the weight just doesn't move.

So, my thing is. I went back to work halftime after a month and full time a month after that. It's been almost a month now of fulltime, and I'm doing okay with the job responsibilities but I'm noticing I get really scared when I start to feel stressed. I bought myself an apple watch and I'm using the breathe app once an hour, relentlessly.

I'm also back to working out, but, because of the covid stuff, I really feel like I'm on my own. I feel like I'll be bothering the doctors if I ask many more questions, but I really am unsure on my limitations and how I'll know if I've gone to far other than the obvious. I think it's important to learn to trust my body again, because I sure as heck don't right now, but it's not easy and I wish there was a support group.

I'm incredibly lucky. I don't appear to have any lasting effects from this whole misadventure, other than not remembering probably 18 hours in the hospital. I remember most of the day leading up to, and I remember telling my husband I didn't feel right as I collapsed. I have a shadowy memory of waking up in the ambulance and hearing "she's still tachy but she's here" . . .

I have my very own defibrillator installed in my chest. It's my best friend, but it's a bit uncomfortable still. They all tell me I'll forget about it and adjust but so far, it's still a bit sore. No one has been able to look at it in person since 3/13 because of Covid. I assume it's fine, the scar is healing well. I just feel a little on my own and lost....

It seems like this post is a bit of this, a bit of that. I've been holding this all in my head. It feels good to get it out. I'm grateful for finding this group. I'd like to find more resources on recovery. What does it look like in general? What else can I do to help myself recover more fully. I've spent the last 2 months doing lots and lots of cognitive puzzles and games, which I think was critical to my recovery. I really sort of feel like myself, other than waking at 2:30 am and being unable to go back to sleep once in a while.

As a final note, I've decided I am a double bionic unicorn. Only 6% of people who suffer SCA survive, so that makes us unicorns, plus I have my own defibrillator, and I appear to have all of my memories and skills from before, making me a double bionic unicorn. :) I do end to approach everything in life with humor, just ask the cardiologist who inserted my ICD, and he will share the stories with much laughter.

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