I am certainly lucky to be alive today. I have been a runner since age 30 in 1977, motivated by my then 2-year-old son and a high cholesterol count. Over the next 20 years, I added weight-lifting and yoga to my weekly exercises. After passing age 48, the age my father died from a heart attack, I thought I was home free. Unfortunately, in December 1997, I woke up one morning and couldn't run. A nuclear stress test diagnosed six blockages of over 97% and a quintuple bypass was performed. It was a lifesaver.
Since then I have competed in seven marathons and two triathlons. I was scared a year ago when I felt dizzy on the tennis court, but recovered and finished the match. A month ago, I fainted on the tennis court again and was out for a few seconds. I went to the ER, stress tested, monitored for 2 weeks to no diagnosis. The day after the monitor was removed, I went into cardiac arrest on the tennis court. Luckily, my friends started CPR immediately and a nearby player was an ER MD. She grabbed the tennis club's defibrillator and brought me back to life. I had an ICD installed two days later.
I am still psychologically fragile, waiting my first jolt. I hope to return to full activity soon.
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Thank you for sharing your experience
What an amazing journey. We are so happy to know your friends started CPR and used the club's defibrillator and that you are doing well.
Please know that you are not alone. Many of the survivors in our network are runners who have returned to running.
And feeling psychologically fragile is very common. We invite other survivors to offer their support.
Each Day a new day
Thank you for sharing your story and your vulnerability. I hear you clearly. There was a time when I prayed that I could have 10 minutes in a day that I was not afraid. I encourage you to continue to speak openly and be certain you have a community that has some understanding of what the feeling psychologically fragile feels like post NDE. (near death experience). I encourage you as well to find a good counselor in your area to help in the process of healing. I have an enormous amount of respect for a good licensed professional that can help with the process of rebuilding the security of space, and time in thought as you continue your journey back.
There was a time I did not want to be in a public restroom, or a parking garage, or anywhere outside an urban area. Sounds could put me right back there on the ground, in the ambulance, or in the icu. I found that subtle routines helped to work my way back to where I had been before the sudden cardiac arrest. At first, the only thing I could be sure to do each day was make my bed. The second was find something healthy to eat. Within a month I was exercising again, in a classroom setting with lots of people in full view. The first spin class I went to I could only last ten minutes and then went outside the room, still in view of folks, and tried hard to recover and not just cry.
Your activity increase will come soon enough. Tides of fear and ripples of success will fluctuate. Know you are heard, and others who share some of your experience are here to help.