I have been married for over 41 years to my best friend and love of my life. It has been a sometimes bumpy time but there is not one other person who I would have wanted beside me during those years. I had taken him for granted-he was always there and always thinking of what was best for me. In fact, he had spoiled me rotten. Then on May2,2009 he suffered a sudden cardiac arrest while on one of his bike rides. He is used to riding long distance so I was not a bit concerned about the fact that he was not home at the time he said that he would be back that day. I was not even concerned too much when a sheriff deputy came to the door and told me that my husband was at the ER. I figured that something had happened like a broken leg or arm-it had happened before. But I knew it was bad when I was taken to the "Compassion Room" at the ER and told to wait for the Dr. Then she calmly blew my world to pieces. She told me that my husband had had a heart attack. My reaction was "No that can't be right!" He was so healthy and fit- I was the one who got sick. When I finally talked to the Doctor after he had placed two stents in my husband I found that he had not had a heart attack but a sudden cardiac arrest and that he would have been dead if not for some people stopping and giving him CPR. My heart felt crushed and broken to pieces all at once. I could not lose him! I went home that night to try to get some rest and all I could think was how do I function without him. I could not even find my daughters phone number because he kept it in his little book. Now I am not a dummy. I hold down a job at a state prison as a therapist but simply could not handle this personally. I felt like a cat chasing their tail. For the next month he was in ICU for 21/2 weeks, then a regualr room then a rehab hospital, he had more tests, more Doctors and more tubes and such than I knew possible. he had 2 blood transfusions, an ICD implanted and therapy. He suffered a broken collar bone, ribs and sternum and a "crappy" chest which he still has only now they say he has COPD. Now he is at home and I am so glad to have him home. I needed him laying next to me to get to sleep. But now I worry all the time. Will it happen again, will he do something he shouldn't while I am away. I know that I am being a nag and a parent but I simply cannot go through that again. For now we are watching his diet, amnking sure that he gets his meds and therapy and praying that this never happens again. Hopfully I will soon move past this phase and not have a nigntmare every night and have to reach out and touch him during the night to assure myself that he is there.