My blog is really what I just wrote for my bio. Sorry, I am new here. I’m a 52 year old white male. Not fat, not skinny. Not sedate, not athletic. Work a fairly physical job. Paranoid my ENTIRE life about having a heart attack. I was constantly nagging doctors about terrible family history of heart disease most of my adult life to no avail. (Caveat: Not that I took care of myself!) Aug. 31, 2013, getting our house ready to sell with my wife and 15 year old stepdaughter, I start realizing that "don't feel real good." My wife says I'm probably hungry because all I had for breakfast was donuts (of all things!) I also come to realize my jaw hurt really, really bad and I was trying to figure that out. I sit down on the floor, and then I lay down on the floor. My wife leaves to get us all something for lunch. I tell my stepdaughter I feel dizzy and she props my feet up with a box. Next, I wake up briefly in an ambulance – paramedics yelling my name and out of my sight I hear someone ask “Does he have a family history of heart attacks?” What an incredible feeling of dread! I came to again briefly in ICU. Thought I was dead and in heaven. Finally came to in some other unit of the hospital and spent a week in a morphine induced haze trying to comprehend what happened. I was released wearing a Zoll LifeVest and very little understanding of what I was supposed to do. Today, I am STILL trying to figure out what happened and what it all means. I am really happy to be alive, but yes, truly bitter that doctor after doctor couldn't have done a test to discover this was going to happen. They HAVE to wait until an artery is 100% clogged and you suffer a heart attack and SCA before they use a catheter to discover this?
Beyond that bitterness, ultimately I am super grateful to be alive and the story of what happened during my periods of unconsciousness are in my mind truly amazing. But in addition to that, I am scared. I keep myself distracted during the day, but when the tv and lights go out, my mind is free to wonder about every little twinge in my body and ask the question "Is tonight the night I die?" "Assuming I don't die tonight, do I never feel like doing anything I used to do ever again?" I have EF of 17% and my cardiologist said "Well of course you feel tired. Your heart isn't pumping very much blood!"