I'm struggling to make it by, I'm 22 years old and had sudden cardiac arrest last year
(February 10th, 2016? idk the actual day but I was told either that day or the following). I spent some time in a coma, I don't actually know how many days of that either but I know it was somewhere around a week and a half. I can't help but to wish everything would've just ended. Why did someone have to save me? My life seemed to be on a good track and now everything has fallen apart. I don't have any closure, and I'm in so much debt I don't know where to begin... I was told there there wasn't a cause, it just happened. I don't remember anything about it or leading up to it happening, i don't really know where my memory stops and picks up again but I know somethings I don't have any recollection of.
I have photos and conversations on my phone that are weird to look at. Like i'm looking at my own memories but they feel like they belong to someone else.
I've been unable to keep a steady job since. (I don't do any drugs btw, the hospital asks me every time so I figured I'd put it out there.) I'm on the verge of homelessness due to not being able to afford my bills, everything's crashed since then and I just can't seem to get back on my feet. I don't want to do this forever
Though it has been a lot easier to see life as more important, I'm tired of living mine.
but I know "I'm lucky to be alive"
I don't really know what I'm looking for from this post. But here we are