Since my SCA episode happened January 17, 2016. I have outwardly seemed to be doing extremely well. My doctors tell me I am doing well, I feel decent and everyone loves to tell me how "good" I look. Inside, I continue to battle depression - that feeling of why did I not just go ahead and die? I mean it seemed like an easy way to leave this world as opposed to so many people I have watched die a slow painful death from cancer or other medical issues. Did I just set myself up to die one of these deaths in 10 years?